Troll Patrol: Five Reasons To Have Them Visit You

I have friends who think that what I'm trying to do is amazing. As I continue to use Social Media not only to promote performance art or connect people to use my project, "Video Nurse", they remind me that they don't know anyone else who is doing this in quite the same way. More likely than not, they explain to me in plain words, "I couldn't do that. I'm too scared."

My question: too scared of WHAT? Or, WHO are they scared of?

I can only imagine the fear they express has something to do with stories of breaches of privacy and security that have been the source of lawsuits, complaints against almost all Social Media platforms, and news that has now become as commonplace to our lives as credit card fraud. Most people don't want to open themselves up to this kind of nuisance. But now, we have something else to deal with that is a problematic as security breaches.

When I first initiated an Internet presence through a website in 2000, I couldn't have conceived of the types of web terrorism that we now have on our hands today. Sure, I was aware enough back then to keep my private information off the web, such as home phone numbers and addresses, or the names of my family members and children.

But now we have on our hands the web equivalent of a gang-style, drive-by shooting, something which I'm naming a Troll Patrol. The troll patrol is a group of loosely-organized douchebags mostly composed of young males. They gather at appointed times, comb the Internet for unmoderated shows, livestreams, and web communities, and once designating a target, swarm an unsuspecting site. Comments are saturated with boring uses of expletives, racist and bigoted remarks, repeated lines of garbage, and progressively more violent, misogynistic, or rude comments to try to provoke the moderator or web manager to react. Those who were enjoying the site feel terrorized in the volatile environment, and they may leave and plan not to return. Whereas a single troll can easily be blocked or removed, a horde as large as 200 or 300 trolls is a bit more like trying to spray insect repellent on a horde of angry hornets. This hornet's nest, however, is composed of bored teenagers looking for fun at your expense.

At first glance, interacting with a group of bored teenagers might not sound very daunting, nor scary. But you might recall an incident a few years ago involving a pair of teens who threw the switch of a train, sending it off the tracks and killing several on board. When interviewed as to why they did this, the answer: they were bored. Use this example as a reminder of what a group of bored teens and young adults can do collectively using smartphones, laptops, and the power of Google to search the web for information about you.

If a troll patrol comes and visits YOUR sites, could there possibly be any reason to celebrate?

Five Reasons to Celebrate a Troll Patrol Visitation

1. Use a Troll Patrol visit as an education. As disgusting as some of their comments may become, you are receiving a fast education about what this generation of users has absorbed from the Internet. For better or for worse, study your market.

2. Their presence on your site, for however long it lasts, may signal that you have a good presence on the Internet. They aren't targeting first time users. Break out the bubbly, and congratulate yourself: you have arrived.

3. Practice handling hostility. Someday, this will help you if you have a PR nightmare on your hands if you ever get a public complaint about your business, or you make a mistake that needs your quick answer, free of defense or excuses. How you handle a Troll Patrol is a pretty good indicator of quick thinking and fast action.

4. Stand on your own feet. A moderator, spam bot, or your blocking application won't be helpful. Visitations are brief, and you won't be able to remove them as fast as they can return; at the same time, you have to protect your real fans, client, and viable community. Here'a great chance to allow people to sling mud and for you to not take any of it personally. Your true community will see you for who you truly are: strong and confident. The trolls are doing you a favor: while demonstrating their own pathos, group trolls are unwittingly making you look good to your community.

None of this is about you; it is clearly about them. Watch how they turn on each other if you laugh and smile at their comments while they search for ways to "get to you." One of the comments on my recent troll patrol visitation speculated that I must have a child who was retarded. The commenter asked if I was angry. Another commenter added that he would like to me in the . I observed their frenzy with fascination and amusement.

5. Use the experience as a "shake-down" for security measures you may want to add to your sites, such as age restrictions, user registrations, and blocking abilities. If you don't have a moderator, you might want to find one by searching through your most loyal clients or fans. In exchange for moderating your site, you could give free product, discounts, services, or a title on your site that connotes honor and loyalty.

Have you been visited by a Troll Patrol? How did you handle it? If you have a funny or interesting related story, please share it offline at info@hipsforhire.com.

Video Nurse: Five Things People Do That Could Kill Them

It happens all the time. In fact, it happened yesterday evening.

A friend emails me, asking about a side effect of a medication he is taking. He wants to know if he should stop taking it, or if he should continue taking it. Can he stop taking a pain killer he was prescribed, and take some OTC Tylenol instead?

As an RN and licensed mental health counselor, I have the licenses and background to field general questions -- something like a triage nurse -- and help you, the consumer, find practical answers. With cheeky humor, entertainment, knowledge, and maybe a tiny bit of pointed sarcasm for the belligerent help-resistant person, I can point you in the right direction. I'll help you wade through medical journal articles, understand studies and statistics, and tell you when something sounds downright fishy (or as my friend says, "It's a bunch of crap!").

Video Nurse makes its official debut Mondays at 5pm Pacific Standard Time on Ustream.tv (look for Video Nurse) starting June 7, 2010. It's a one-hour show by topic, with time for people in the chat room to ask questions and jump in the dialogue about health-related topics. I'll occasionally record segments of the show and archive them by topic.

While Video Nurse does not exist to diagnose or treat any specific person's disease or disorder, I can speak generally about the disease/disorder, and point callers towards resources to help them make the most informed choices possible.

Here's just one example of Video Nurse:



On Monday June 7, 2010, Video Nurse will cover the topic, "Five Things People Do That Could Kill Them". I already gave you a hint to one of the five in the above example. When you don't read your prescription carefully and mix medications, you are playing "mad scientist" with your body as the lab experiment. In the example above, Tylenol had an adverse reaction to the pain killer this friend wanted to replace. The same could be said about stopping a medication mid-prescription without informing your doctor (for follow up): that's almost always a dumb thing to do, because doctor's usually do not prescribe medication without a reason.

Every single person is responsible for his or her own health, even if you see a physician. No matter your culture, age, gender, or sexual orientation, it is your right to be informed about what keeps you healthy. Ultimately, the choices available are yours to take. Watch Video Nurse, and start living your most satisfying life today.